Me vs. The Spam

You know what? I don’t really get the whole spam comment thing. It’s just dumb. It’s a bunch of clutter and chaos and I do not approve.

It does, however, give me something to make fun of. (Er…I does, however, give me something of which to make fun?) So I offer you a bit of fun at the spammers’ expense:

Me vs. The Spam (engaging snark mode.)

1) “diamondbacks jersey” says “Nice to find on this good article, cheers albert pujols jersey”

– Okay. First of all, Albert Pujols plays for St. Louis Cardinals, and has since he was drafted in the 13th round of the 1999 draft. (According to Koshvader and Baseball-Reference.com) Well…technically he didn’t have his major league debut until April 2, 2001, but really the point here is that he has never played for the Diamondbacks. Next, let me do a bit of correction. Perhaps they meant, “Nice to find this good article. Cheers, [name].” But it doesn’t matter either way, as this bit o’ spam was posted on the post with the Carol Burnett outtakes. Not much of an article, really. “Diamondbacks jersey,” I vote you off of the island.

2) “veterinary technician” says “Wow this is a great resource.. I’m enjoying it.. good article”

– So, Vet Tech. May I call you Vet Tech? Well, it’s shorter isn’t it? Anyway, I’m so glad that you enjoyed my T-Shirt Tuesday post about the Hogwarts shirt. I’m not really sure how you are going to use it as a resource, however. Perhaps you needed a reference from someone who hates three-quarter length sleeves? Ah! That must be it. Glad that I could help. Next.

3) “Hyman Sinibaldi” says “This is my first time visiting your site. I found a lot of interesting stuff. From the volume of comments, I think I am not the only. FYI, please also visit my sharing: men’s polo shirts…”

– I’ll just cut you off there, Hyman. I’m glad that you enjoyed that Hogwart’s t-shirt post, but…it isn’t a men’s polo shirt. It doesn’t really have a polo-type collar and polo shirts don’t have those dratted three-quarter length sleeves, so, forgive me for not popping over to your “sharing.” I don’t wear men’s polo shirts, though I’m sure I’d look dead sexy in one and not like some sort of lost waif. Thanks for the suggestion. (Psst! Hyman! You left out the word “one” after “only” there.)

4) ” Granville” says “Yo! Is it OK that I go a bit off topic? I am trying to read your blog on my new iPhone but it doesn’t display properly, any suggestions? Thanks in advance!”

– Yo, Granville! Sorry, it displays just fine on my iPod Touch, so I don’t know what to tell you. I see that you have a link to an iPhone accessories shop as your link, so…perhaps you could ask at work and I can keep my blog on topic. Ta!

5) “Sergio De Gambling” says “Always looking for something new to purchase. Looks like this might be it.”

– Sorry Sergio, I don’t think that Carol Burnett is for sale…

and finally (for now)
6) “check hotels” says “Benefit Iron,belief official own imagine item consist target piece between look derive chapter heat essential page duty citizen reasonable present attractive set husband working weekend mass partly design outside unlikely anyone everything earth compare deal bloody water much metal inform per where region ahead state direction lovely control youth route count major rise memory ourselves shape user lord wave working like professional serve set desk young he office note impossible bit inform whereas range leadership release try will edge lead especially vary works standard presence science late so church general cost”

- Riiiiiight. Thanks for the word bomb, Check. Let’s see what I can make with this. Hmmmm….

Look between.
He will lead especially professional works.
Imagine iron mass.
Unlikely target, Earth? Impossible!
Lovely earth. Much water.
State control region.
Attractive citizen. Unlike anyone! Young Professional? Husband? Major general? Unlikely.

Now it’s your turn. Take your best shot at a sentence, story, or phrase using only the words from good old Check.

Sigh. It’s still hot, but I’m off to bed. Night all. I’ll channel my inner mean snarky girl again soon.

4 Responses to “Me vs. The Spam”

  1. Debbie Says:

    Liked the last one best, but I don’t think I can top your translation. :)

  2. angel Says:

    Hi Debbie!

  3. Steph Says:

    ROFL. I like your Vet Tech reply.

  4. angel Says:

    Thanks, Steph. :)

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